Trimming the Fat: Getting Your Story Moving

I’ve been doing a lot of painting lately, which is all well and good, but I really need to be sure to squeeze in time for writing. For me, the writing and the art are equally important. I need to find a better way of organizing my days.

Betsy was kind enough to contribute the next topic in our story series.

Discerning between what is necessary exposition and what is fluff. Basically, how to get the story moving quickly.

Michael presented a similar topic – knowing whether or not parts in the story are helping to forward the plot – so I’m going to address them in the same post.

The key thing here is to understand that everything that appears or happens in your story needs to have a reason. It can’t be an arbitrary choice. “Oh, I just threw that in because it’s cool.”

It’s perfectly fine for that cool thing to exist in your story if it has a reason for existing.

In truth, the answer to this one is pretty easy. If it has a purpose, then it’s necessary. But I know it can be difficult to discern what has purpose and what doesn’t. This is why I started this series by talking about story problems and solutions. It helps to have the foundation in place before you start laying in the bricks.

To determine whether an element is necessary or whether you can do without it, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is this crucial to establishing the character(s)?
  2. Is this new information, or is it repeated somewhere else?
  3. Is the information delivered in the most efficient way possible?
  4. Does the scene help set a particular mood?
  5. Is it crucial to the development of the character(s)?
  6. Will the audience understand what’s going on if I remove this element?

At times, the problem isn’t even that a part of the story is unnecessary, but that it occurs in the wrong place, or moves too slowly. Is there a way to change the delivery of this information to help propel the story rather than hinder it?

Michael inquired about this topic in relation to a story he’s working on. Without giving the story away, I’m just going to quote the significant bit:

It opens with the main kid getting upset about losing a video game. He then breaks the game out of rage … I was wondering how necessary developing this character is to the overall story or if I should just do it with dialogue later on.

Character development is always necessary. If your scene is giving us vital information about a character, it’s a keeper. But we don’t need to know every detail of a character, just the important ones. In this case, the scene is telling us that the kid is spoiled (and possibly that he has aggression issues). Do we need to know that the boy is spoiled? How does it come into play later?

You do have the choice of doing this through actions or through dialogue. They always say “show, don’t tell,” and personally I always hear this and think WTF does that mean?? Seriously, I have to shut down all my electronics, go sit in a dark corner, and really puzzle my way through this concept in solitude. I mean, how do you know when you’re “showing” and when you’re “telling?” Certainly, having the boy’s mom tell another character, “My little Richard is rather spoiled,” would be “telling.” But dialogue can be used quite cleverly to establish character. Take the movie Anna Karenina. The titular character doesn’t show up until nearly ten minutes into the film. We’re introduced to her through dialogue.

Another example I love is Ocean’s Eleven (I just caught a bit of it on the TV so it’s fresh in my mind). This movie has some of the best banter I’ve ever seen… and the best part about it is how the banter helps establish each character. Watch the scene between Danny Ocean and Tess in the restaurant. Now that’s dialogue that “shows.”

You want your story to be lean, but you don’t want it to be too lean. You don’t need to cut away all the fat – a little bit of fat is good. If your story moves too fast or is too intense, it wears the audience out, and you’ll lose them. Your story needs to breathe now and then.

And sometimes, the fat is just plain fun. This is especially true in comedy. Take a look at Jason Figliozzi’s Snack Attack.

Snack Attack from jasonfigliozzi. on Vimeo.

The beginning is kind of slow, huh? Not a whole lot is going on. But what is going on is important. For one, the opening frames give us plenty of time to appreciate the caveman’s situation. He lives in a barren desert. This setting is not arbitrary. The empty desert efficiently gives us a lot of information about the caveman’s predicament.

Then we have that moment where the caveman is digging around in a little skull. This is important character building. We learn 1) our caveman is hungry (see why that barren desert is so important?), and 2) he’s a liiiittle bit dumb. Over the next two minutes, we get to see just how dumb this guy really is.

Now, my favorite part of this film is from 2:20 to 2:30. I die every single time I see it. When I think of “fat,” I think of that moment. But it’s good fat! It’s a hilarious, well-timed beat, and, just as significant, it’s communicating important information. After all that struggle, the caveman is finally getting what he wants. He’s taking time to savor the moment, and we savor the moment along with him.

You want to leave a little bit of fat, and you also want to be sure you’re not cutting into the muscle. As you’re looking for fluff to get rid of, be sure what you think is fluff isn’t actually essential to the story. Does it have a reason for existing? If the scene is down time you’re afraid of losing because the story’s moving too fast, well, even those moments can be given meaning.

Start at the beginning. And when you come to the end… stop.

One final tidbit. Betsy’s question asks specifically how to get the story moving quickly. The quickest way to do that is to start where the true story begins. Now, you definitely need to set up the story, but you don’t want to spend a great deal of time on setup. Consider this. Your story is a significant moment in time. Your character’s particular circumstances, occurring in a certain location and a certain time, have created an extraordinary moment that your character has never before experienced and may never experience again. You don’t need to start the story the night before everything changes. That’s backstory. You don’t have time for that, and frankly, we don’t really care. It’s the moment all the crap hits the fan that we really want to see.

Where does the inciting incident of your story come in? It should be roughly at the 10% or 15% mark. If it’s halfway into the story, then you’ve got a bit of trimming to do.

I’ve got a juicy topic for next time: tying events together. Stay tuned!

Ocean’s Eleven image from imdb.com.

The End Justifies the Means

Story post #2! And really, I was tempted to skip this part. When I asked some friends what problems they run into when developing stories, I got some really awesome feedback, and I’m ready to dive right in. But when I start to try and puzzle my way through their problems, I always go directly to one place.

The end.

The ending is arguably the most important part of the story. In fact, I think this and the problem are tied for the spot of most important.

The ending defines your mood when the story is over. It defines the emotional journey throughout the entire piece.

The ending tells you how to feel.

It is your proof of concept. It is your concept, restated. It is the whole reason for the story.

The ending is the moral.

Yes, your story should have a moral. Your story has to have a moral, or else, why write the story at all? The moral can be described as your story’s concept statement. The beginning of the story asks a question. The middle of the story sets out to answer that question. The end is the point where the story turns to the audience and says, “See what I mean?”

You’ve got your problem. I assume by now you’ve got at least the very basic of idea of what character(s) are going to set out and solve this problem. Now’s the point to decide what your characters are going to learn at the end of the story. (This is also a stepping stone to developing your character.)

Ironically, the problem and the ending are the points I struggle with most. When I begin a story, I tend to start with an over-arching concept. To borrow examples from my school days: a baker witnesses something in his kitchen disappear, or a little girl and a little zombie become friends. I know what the problems and the endings to both those stories are now, but when I first conceived them, tying down those details was difficult. I couldn’t commit. I didn’t know if I wanted the baker to be happy or sad at the end. I knew I wanted the zombie and girl to be friends, but I didn’t know how to get to that point.

These are also two areas where I like to complicate things. I’m all about complex stories, so from the very start, I’m thinking in terms of mood and themes and symbolism and seemingly random elements that interconnect like a web of emotionally charged awesomeness full of wit and meaning. But I can never come up with any of that stuff, and after I recover from the mental collapse brought on by the very attempt and I take a step back to analyze the situation, it always boils down to not having a clear problem or a clear ending.

Think of it like map. Your starting point is A. Your ending point is E. At the moment, there are no obstacles. Our path is a direct line.

Now, when we begin to build the middle, that’s when obstacles will be thrown in, and that direct line might become a zigzagging mess. But for now, we’re going to start with the path of least resistance.

Your ending doesn’t have to be complex. You just need a general idea of where the story’s going. I’m going to turn to The Simpsons for help on this one. I watched two episodes recently. Two Bad Neighbors and Lisa the Iconoclast.

In Two Bad Neighbors, former president George Bush moves in across the street from the Simpsons. The episode quickly throws us into the problem. The Simpsons and the Bushes (primarily Homer and George) don’t get along. There’s a feud between the families. The question presented could be, “Can George Bush survive as Homer Simpson’s neighbor?” In the end, Homer wins the feud and the Bushes move out. The question is answered: no, he cannot.

Oh yes, there’s definitely more to it. There are a lot of fun hijinks, and a lot of parallels illustrated by how Homer and George both relate to their various neighbors. What made old-school Simpsons so great was how it built layers of complexity in a half-hour show. But in order to develop the fun stuff, you need to know where your story’s going. In the development of this episode, it’s conceivable that the writing team entertained a lot of endings – but they probably knew that, at the end of the episode, some level of normalcy must be returned to the Simpsons’ lives (this is a common format in sitcoms). That meant the Bush family would have to leave Evergreen Terrace. With the ending locked down, writing the rest of the story only becomes a matter of figuring out why George and Barb leave.

Now, Lisa the Iconoclast was an interesting scenario, and the episode itself is a great example of several different elements: significant setting, building tension, the importance of reaction, interconnecting subplots, and theme. Here we have an emotionally-charged situation. On the eve of Springfield’s big celebration of their founder, Jebediah Springfield, Lisa Simpson discovers that Jebediah was a murderous fraud. But when she tries to reveal the truth to her town, no one believes her.

There are a lot of things at stake for Lisa. Because Lisa is a moral and honest character, she feels obligated to tell the truth. She has her pride to defend, as well as the pride of her father, the only one in town willing to support her. We become emotionally invested as well. We know Lisa’s telling the truth, and we see how pained she is when her peers and role models turn on her. We see her resolve being broken when her father, who supports her unconditionally, is punished for his faith. We have to see her succeed. If she can’t prove the truth, it will change her very character. In the town’s eyes, she will be a liar. In our eyes, she will be a failure.

And yet, at the end, Lisa chooses to preserve the lie.

That’s a very interesting choice. Why not have Lisa reveal the truth? That’s what she, and we, want. Well remember, this is a sitcom. At the end, everything must return to normal. We can’t have Jebediah being discredited as the town’s founder. In the end, the secret must not be revealed. But the creators find a way to turn this moment into a victory, anyway. Moreover, the ending justifies the episode’s larger theme.

It is a “Do the Right Thing” story, and through Lisa’s journey, we understand why lying was the right thing. Also note how Lisa’s solution is drastically different from what she wanted at the start. This is a character arc. Lisa changes throughout the story. What she wants at the end is not what she wanted at the beginning. I’ll discuss this episode in depth in another post.

The point being, knowing your starting point and knowing your end point are the first steps to plotting your journey. Once we know how a story will end, then we can determine how it will begin. We can determine who our characters are and how they will change over the course of the story. We can determine what roadblocks must be thrown in during the characters’ journey, how the conflict builds, what symbols appear that guide the characters and us on the way, and how our hero discovers the information that will ultimately lead him/her to solving the problem. The story is a journey, and the end must be different from the beginning. By the end, everything is changed. Now we can go back and add in the details of how and why we are led to this change.

So, how does your story end? Does the guy get the girl? Does the heroine defeat her nemesis? Will everyone live happily ever after? Does you bumbling hero end up in an even bigger mess than before? Maybe the hero learns his lesson too late? Or maybe the lesson flies right over her head and she goes right back to doing things the same way as before?

Simpsons images from TV Goat and bobbysketch.

The Problem Story… or, The Story Problem

Okay, let’s try something new. I love story in all its forms, and I’ve been wanting to tailor my blog more to musings on the craft of storytelling. And since it’s PrePro time at Ringling again, it seems like a good time to just sit down and do it. So, look forward to lots of rambling thoughts, links to favorite resources, and scribbly drawings. To begin, I’m going to do a short series of entries more geared toward the students working on their thesis films.

A disclaimer: I am no way an expert on any of this. I am a student of art, just like you. But I also like to hear (or read) myself talk, so here we are. These are my thoughts, and I’m always looking for other insights and resources. If you have your own observations to make, or resources to share, then please, by all means! That’s what that handy comment link’s for.

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