Tag Archives: rant

*Spoiler Alert*

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First some art, cuz you guys know how I feel about posting a bunch of feels with no art.

I’ve been wanting to write this blog entry for a long time, but I told myself that I wouldn’t until after I’d found a job. I knew my opinion on my current situation was severely biased and I wouldn’t be able to deliver the facts with a clear perspective. In fact, I was about to break my own rule and just write an update anyway, because I was tired and bitter and at my breaking point, when the seemingly impossible happened. I’m now employed, in the film industry, and as an artist. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do.

I’ve put this blog on hold because I’ve been dealing with a lot, and I think it’s about time I explained. Of course, the problem with waiting so long is that now I have to sum up over a year in a way that won’t put everyone to sleep.

So.  Continue reading →

How could this happen to meeee

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An accurate reenactment of my life right now.

You guys. I have to apologize.

I’ve said time and again that I was going to be better about posting to this blog. I started up all these blog posts about story and just left them hanging, even though I promised a new post every coupla weeks. But, here we are.

I was going to whine in length about everything that’s been going on the last several months, but it’s a little too emo even for me. So suffice to say, right now I’m just trying to find a job. I think my problem is that this is perhaps the longest I’ve been unemployed since I was sixteen. I’m not used to being unemployed, broke, and in terrible, soul-crushing debt. I need to work on just saying eff it and relax. It’s not the end of the world (yet), and hell, this is the most free time I’ve had in years, so I might as well make use of it.

Hopefully in the near future I’ll be out of this funk and back to my usual ranty, arty self.

It’s aliiiiiive!

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Oh my wow guys, here I am posting. I’ve been a busy beaver lately and haven’t had time to write about story-related things as I’d like to, but I do feel bad about letting my blog just sit. I promised myself I was going to get better about blog posting, so um… let’s try promising again lol, and hopefully I’ll stick to it this time. Story posts will be coming, but for now I want to focus on building a posting routine.

Okay well new items first.

If you will be at Otakon at the end of this month, I will also be at Otakon and you should come visit me in Artist Alley. My friends Alice Meichi Li and Jennifer Zyren Smith will also be there! According to the Artist Alley map I should be either at booth B08 or B09 (Alice and I will be together). Man, the last time I was at a con I’d just graduated from my first college. It’s been years. I can’t wait to see how Otakon has changed!

You might be on Twitter. You might be on Tumblr. If so, you might like to follow me :) just use those handy dandy buttons over on the right over the search bar to find me.

Also also, my website got a facelift care of my amazingly talented and wonderful friend Sarah – who recently began her online comic Rumbirds! She also co-hosts a podcast that’s all about music and theatre and movies and Youtube and coning?? (what the what?) and other fun things. Her cohost Timmy is good people – he introduced me to Happle Tea, and anyone who turns me onto awesome webcomics is A-OK in my book.

Some things are afoot that I don’t want to discuss right now, but rest assured I’m keeping busy, and when opportunity allows, you’ll definitely be hearing about them.

Now that I’m actively pursuing art as a career, it seems that most everyone I meet has artistic aspirations. I was just making a late-night run to the grocery store, and I got into a conversation with the cashier. He asked me what I did for a living. I told him that I was an artist. He got a knowing look, and confided that he used to take drawing classes.

Just this past weekend, I reconnected with a cousin I haven’t talked to in years, and I was surprised to learn that she was interested in art as well. She’s considering going back to school so she can enter the health sector, but she confided that it’s not where her heart is. She’d rather be taking art classes.

Back before I enrolled at Ringling, I didn’t know half the stuff about the world of art that I know now. At the time, I was trying to get myself out of the world of marketing, and being an artist seemed like an all or nothing sort of thing. Granted, I’m happy with my choice, but I understand a lot better now that it’s not the only choice. So many people give up on art to be practical, to focus on school and having a well-paying job and taking care of the family, and lament the missed opportunity to pursue their passion. But… why is it all or nothing? Why not do both? The truth is, being a professional artist isn’t for everyone. It can be just as demanding and thankless as any other job, depending on your role and where you work.

But for every professional artist I know, I know someone else who just does their art on the side – I hesitate to call it a hobby because sometimes it transcends that. Maybe they take classes, or paint in the mornings, or run their freelance photography business on the weekends. Or they’re like a number of illustrators I follow and work on webcomics, graphic novels, and other projects in their free time. I’m most familiar with these type of artists because I read a lot of webcomics – artists like Sarah Ellerton and Tracy Butler. Now, I’ll grant you, Tracy’s day job is art-related, but it’s still a day job. Lackadaisy Cats is something she does entirely in her spare time.

…Of course, this post doesn’t address the very important issue of time management. Anyone working a nine to five job knows how hard it is to come home from work after a grueling day of office politics, fighting traffic, running errands and taking care of home responsibilities, and then convince yourself to stay upright for a few more hours and do some art. But… it can be done. Bottom line is, you don’t have to remove art from your life. It can fill as much or as little of your time as you’d like… and if you’re really passionate about it, I think a little time is preferable to none at all.

Speaking of art, here’s a sneak peek at some new stuff I’ll have with me at Otakon (yes, I’m totally into A Song of Ice and Fire right now).

Robb Stark - A Song of Ice and Fire Jon Snow - A Song of Ice and Fire

Salsa - Eternal Sonata

When it all goes not according to plan

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First some art, cuz I always feel bad when I post but don’t have any art to show.

Snow Day

Next, a general announcement: I changed the permalinks on my blog. If anyone’s linking to specific entries, your old links should work as far as I know, but you might want to change them in any case.

Okay, now for the real entry!

Ah, let me tell you guys. The last eight months have been quite the roller coaster ride. A slow, boring, yet disproportionately frightening roller coaster ride. Not too many twists, turns or stomach-flipping plummets, but plenty of screams and the silent fear of falling or losing limbs.

In fact, the only real surprise on this ride that warrants a few screams of terror happened last week. I quit my job. I’ve got two weeks left, but it’s a sure thing, now. Next Thursday is my last day.

But really, the most surprising (and amusing) part of all this is just how freaked out my sister seems to be. Last week when I told her I was going to quit, she told me “no, you’re not.” The next day when I told her I handed in my two weeks’ notice, she didn’t believe me. Just now I was e-mailing her about some ideas I have for the next few months—ideas that have nothing to do with my job, FYI—and she replies back, “Did you decide not to quit your job?”

Whoa, sis, calm down. You’re not allowed to be more freaked out about this than I am. Continue reading →

Can I Borrow a Feeling?

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Beowulf Tuesday night! Not quite sure what to expect – I generally enter a movie theater with no expectations. But I’m stoked to be seeing another film.

So I bounced over to Chris Nabholz‘s blog earlier and saw the films eligible for Oscar nomination. I can’t remember correctly, but isn’t this number up from last year’s? Twelve features? When was the last time that happened?

I’m especially pleased to see how many of those are 2D… even if one of them’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force WTF….

This makes for a good segue into a topic I wanted to talk about but just haven’t had time for lately. Lately our instructors and various speakers have discussed the importance of finding a niche. The animation industry is so specialized that, while Ringling prepares us for all facets of animation production, it’s a good idea to find one aspect that you enjoy.

(Mom, are you reading this?)

Here are just a few of the departments that help produce an animated film (particularly 3D): story, visual development, layout, modeling, texturing, rigging, lighting, effects… and of course, animation. All those choices are open to me when I graduate – well except rigging, there’s no way I’m touching that.

At the moment – and I haven’t done much, mind you – I think I enjoy animating most. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do: make things move. So far I’ve loved every minute of it.

…And so far I’ve loved traditional more than 3D. That’s a little disconcerting since my major is computer animation.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like computer animation too. Despite the absolute nightmare of the penguin model and rigging in primitive theater, I didn’t hate it. I surprise myself with how willing I am to sit in front of a computer screen and tinker around in Maya. Going by the history of my terribly short attention span, I was afraid I wouldn’t have the patience for animation. In fact, I expected I’d sooner tire of sitting bent over a lightboard drawing hundreds of sheets’ worth of art just to achieve a few seconds of motion and realize that I hate animation after all.

But oh, God, the thrill of it! The thrill of flipping through stacks of animation paper, of plotting out the timing and spacing of the drawings, the soreness in your arm as you’re shooting each individual sheet on the pencil test, of numbering all the pages and writing out an X-sheet……. okay that stuff gets pretty annoying actually. But it’s all worth it, just to see your art move.

And sure, I get that thrill in computer animation too. But the characters, even when I’ve modeled them myself, they just don’t feel real to me. They don’t feel like me. But in traditional… that’s me in every fraction of a movement. In every line. I’ll watch my pencil tests over and over until I start to hate them because I know I can do better.

…But this is a computer animation school. Jeff Katzenberg said 2D animation is dead (paraphrasing here… but not really). When I was applying to Ringling and CalArts two years ago, the CA students told me to come to Ringling because I’d never get a job in 2D.

In some ways I find myself back in the position that led me here: of not following my heart. 2D animation has always been my first love. It’s what ultimately led me here. I figured I’d be okay: animation is animation. The medium didn’t matter. But I don’t think a 3D environment will never excite me as much as hand-painted backgrounds and hand-drawn characters.

I was telling my mom all this on the phone and she said, “You’re spending thousands of dollars on this school and you don’t know what you want to do??” It’s not that simple. And it’s still early – I don’t know what I want to do yet. There’s still visual development if I love drawing so much. And the suggestion was made to switch to Illustration. I’ve thought about it… but I’m not so great at visual development, and I don’t think illustrating would hold my interest.

It’s early. We’ll see, we’ll see.

Now to head to the labs.

I Must Not Screw This Up….

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Time management. I have the skill – in fact I can be very organized, when I want. The problem is that being lazy comes so much more naturally.

It hit me as I was lounging about over the weekend that I’m wasting a lot of time. I’m not falling behind in my work by any means – and believe me, it’s an easy thing to do here – but there are plenty of hours in my day that could be put to good use, but usually aren’t. I could be exercising more. I could be going to martial arts club. I could be writing in the mornings (my favorite time to write). I could be going out and sketching, or going to FEWS.

It’s kind of starting to hit me – I’m slow on the pick-up sometimes – that to be good at something, you need to put in the hours. Despite my emo one-liner of the last post, I’m pretty good at figure drawing… but I could be so much better if I just drew. I had a pretty good session at the last Intermediate Figure class, and having glimpsed some figure work from May I’m amazed at how much more weighted and three-dimensional my figures are now. But I could be so much better if I drew more. There aren’t many things in life that you can learn once and have the knowledge forever. Even if you’re good, there’s always potential to grow. You need to nurture your skills, let them develop.

I realized today that this is my problem with Maya. I SUCK at computer animation – I’m actually better at hand-drawn animation! Isn’t the computer supposed to make it easier? As it turns out, Maya’s a lot more complex than I thought it’d be. It’s a whole new way of thinking for me, who has only had to worry about creating art in a 2D environment. It’s not that I’m bad at Maya… I just haven’t put in the time to explore the program, to figure out how it works and what it can do.

So bottom line… my life needs structure. I’m not bad off, but I could certainly use improvement.

Especially because as of next week, I will be employed. I’ve been going back and forth on whether I want a job or not. On one hand I don’t since, as the above illustrates, I need the hours to devote to my school work. A job can really compete with that. But at the same time… I like money. I’m kinda paranoid about running out of it. And… actually, working really does help to give my life structure. It gets me up and moving in the morning, which means I’m being productive rather than lying in bed pondering if and when I’ll get up. And as backwards as it sounds, the less time I have to work, the more I get done.

My favorite quote (and personal motto): I do my best work under pressure.

So yes, after a lot of humming and hawing, filling out applications and not turning them in, turning them in and not hearing back, or hearing back and declining interest… I actually went to an interview. I actually got an offer. And I actually took it. The adventure begins.

It’s not like I won’t have time for both. And from the sounds of it, I’ll really enjoy the work I’m doing. It’s just a matter of making the most of what I have.